You know...I haven't posted in awhile...I've been pretty happy. Lately I keep feeling like it's all an illusion. I keep having the feeling like I'm being lied to. Of course I dont want to believe it. I want to believe that everything is fine and my imagination and past issues are getting the best of me. Then...bam! I catch someone in a lie....and lying about that lie....and lying about both lies. He doesnt know I know. May not tell him...unless he decides to read my journal after all this time...doubtful. Why would someone change all their passwords? I just happen to stumble across that fact when I was playing a game on his computer. I wasnt trying to be nosey. Afterall...I want to believe that everything is fine....that way I'm happy....no pain...no stress. He acted funny today and I wasnt sure why. I knew soemthing was wrong...and he wouldnt tell me. Why would he come home and hide something from me that is associated to another female? My gut keeps telling me..."dont be stupid...you know why...he's a man and a liar. Get out...get out now before it costs you another $2000 in lawyers fees." However my heart is sitting here saying..." Mel...dont be stupid...trust him....he wouldnt hurt you...he loves you...you dont need to jump to conclusions." I am an ER forensic nurse...I should trust my gut AND all the little clues...right? That's what I'm trained to do. SO.....what about listening to my heart? Well....then I think....I did that for 10 years and it got me two divorces. Hmmm....

Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.
Solon (638 BC - 559 BC)