My heart was so sad today, I couldn't eat anything for lunch...I need to stop listening to all of the drama that people keep throwing my way. Why should I have to deal with some bullshit from a f****ng **** (bleep).

So my day wasn't so bad...I set up my friend Kristi with an....old friend....Brian. He's really nice and they think each other's pictures are cute. We will see how things go. I'm taking them out to eat on Saturday. They seem like they may be compatible. He's had a rough time lately with dates....bunch of skanks. Seems they are in abundance lately....Oh well...

My soul was empty
My heart was cold
with each passing year
My life grew old

I no longer looked
for someone to love
I closed my eyes
to all above

Then one moment
My vision cleared
I looked upon your face
and saw what I feared

Your eyes saw through me
They saw what I would hide
My vulnerable heart
with you by my side

I took a chance
to open the door
My soul was found
and now will soar

"wake up the dawn and ask her why the dreamer never dies"
I've slept very little in this past week. It's funny how lack of sleep can bring clarity of mind. I have begun to notice the insignificant things more only to realize they are not insignificant at all. The light that shines beneath the door is not a light at all...it's more of a glow of a glimpse into the oblivion.

Got a call this morning at 2:00am from the county jail. Jason got arrested for DWI. I know he wasn't thinking I was going to bail out his dumbass. Other than that..my Christmas turned out to be beautiful. I got to spend time with the people I care about the most; as well as watch my kids' big, bright eyes as they opened each gift.

I was going to write more but since someone kept me up all night I am going to sleep now.

Merry Christmas everyone!!! I hope you all have a great holiday. Remember to drive safely....I'll be working this weekend and I don't need any more patients.


"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." -Albert Einstein

Saw a kickass movie today...LOTR: Return of the King....
really long but was so worth my time in more than one way.

"Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." -William Jennings Bryan

It's funny how a person can see things in different lights in different circumstances. When the light changes ever so slightly, a whole new door may be revealed with new possibilities at hand. ----Me

Ok...so this weekend was a little strange. I will have Christmas party pictures posted on my website soon.

"He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere."-Ali ibn-Abi-Talib

"The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity." -Richard M. Nixon

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. -King Whitney Jr.

I took my last final----Statistics...whewww! I only missed two questions and they were bullshit questions. Who cares...it's over!!! YEAH!
So ...had a long talk with Raquel today about a dilema I've been facing. The girl is wise beyond her years... I think. Kinda opened my eyes to some of the things that I wasn't seeing. Sometimes when you are in a situation, you can't see the whole picture, just what you want to see. A little outside perspective is usually what is necessary.

"abiertos sus ojos"

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered." -Tom Stoppard

Ok...a friend of mine had this link to a test on his journal...so here are my results:


STAR
"self-confident, self-esteem"
You have a feeling and sense of self-worth. You
gain fame for demonstration of your abilities
in two very different areas. You are gifted
when it comes to intuition, perception, and
precognition. The head of the figure on the
card looks to the inner star for guidance and
support-- you tend to be fairly introspective.


which major arcana of the thoth tarot deck are you? short, with pictures and detailed results
brought to you by Quizilla

What's yours?

Today was a good day. I went shopping for the last of the kids' Christmas presents, saw a few friends in the process, spoke with my lawyer, and studied a little. I can't wait until Thursday ...It's our ER Christmas party and Adam requested off so he could attend. So once again I have a designated driver...Oh yeah!

And for the little IM I got this morning...take a pill for your nausea...my page is not sickening! It's sweet...

Just when I thought being nice was a good thing...
My asshole ex-husband tried to take off with my kids. What the hell was he thinking? That dumbass couldn't raise his ass off the couch much less raise 2 kids. What the hell did I ever do to deserve this? Was I a lawyer in a former life? Screw this shit! I have enough drama in my life without him adding to it.
I have the greatest friends in the world. They are so understanding and stood by me during the whole incident. Without their support...not sure what I would have done.
Thanks Melody, Doug, Dr. Montross, Stacy, Jules, Mitra, Brandon, Angela, and Paula.
Oh, and thanks for the offer Brad, but I think I'll pass.

And once again...Adam makes me feel better about the whole situation.

Well..I got a lot of studying done today at work. I was in Express care Triage and we didn't do shit all day. I dozed off a couple of times. It was nice for a change. I felt like a critical care nurse just sitting there all day. ewww... not fair...I know.

I am sooo sleepy. Didn't go to sleep last night until around 2am. What the hell was I thinking? I'm too old for that shit. Oh well....off to bed....to sleep

Today was the last day of classes for the semester...YEAH! I had to drag my ass to class today, but it will all be over next Monday.
I got an emailed picture of my cousin today. He got married in Scotland recently. It's absolutely beautiful. I must say, he has come a long way from the little red-headed brat that used to cheat at hide and seek. Congrats Dale..and good luck!
Well, for the rest of the night I will study for finals because Adam said so.

Just had to link to Adam's page because of the sweet things he said...

Adams News Page

To Adam:

aww hell...just had to erase this post...

First meeting today of my new Advocacy group. I think it went well. I'm excited about what we are trying to accomplish in Emergency nursing. It's going to be lots of work....but well worth it.
Here's a quote from a wise woman.....
"I'm not a critical care nurse...I'm so much more. I'm an ER nurse."

I was actually in the middle of my speech when my cell phone went off with a text message. It was from Mr Wonderful and I suddenly became speechless...(not like me) as my face reddened. Everyone looked at me and pretty much new what the context of the message had been. WOW! To be able to stop me midsentence is very impressive. Just ask any of my friends.

Ok..so I admit...yeah...I kinda like him. There. now..anyways....
It's been a long time since I have smiled so much. Each day that I talk to him makes me realize more and more that all men aren't assholes. Just the ones that I have choosen in the past.

Oh, by the way...this next message is for someone who knows who they are:

If you think that you can decieve me with words that you have borrowed from some line in a movie...think again. I am so much more intellegent than you percieve. Just because I never acknowledge the fact that what you said was a lie, doesn't necessarly mean that I did not recognize it as such. This quote is for you:

"He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore." - Sigmund Freud

You know the days that seem to pass you by without the slightest of recollection as to what actually happened on that particular day? It seems to be happening more often than not. It seems to me that the only interesting interruption in this monotonous day is the unexpected message on my cellular phone from a man whom I think is absolutely wonderful. As these interesting interruptions increase in frequency, my smile becomes wider and wider.